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steve carruthers

Steve Carruthers

These days the media are full of incidents where individuals are assaulted by others – often operating in groups – because of them being ‘different’. A schoolgirl beaten by other girls at a bus stop because she is not behaving by the ‘cool’ standard set by those other girls, a black businessman pushed out of a metro train by football supporters just because he has a different color of skin, a Birthday party of a little kid where none of the classmates turn up because that kid is autistic, and I could go on for pages and pages.. Unfortunately…

Why is it that people like to discriminate because somebody is ‘different’? Why does society not embrace those people as being unique, as having something special most of us don’t, adding to the color and flavor of our community? Why are people not judged on the things they do, the talents they have, on the amount of love they hold inside and are able to spread if given the opportunity?

What tore my heart apart this morning was an article in the newspaper about Steve Carruthers and  his fiancée Vicky Matthews, another fait divers in the too long row of people whose lives are being turned into hell by those who do not accept ‘different’. True, Steve suffers from the Crouzon syndrome, a genetic affection, since his birth, and it does give him a face that is uncommon between the population. Does that change in any way who he is, how he feels, how he thinks, how much love he is able to offer? Yes, it does.. I believe, although I do not know him, that him being ‘different’ made him a different man than most of us. It forced him, from the earliest years of his life, to look behind the mask of skin that is stretched over our facial bones and to look for the heart and mind of people he met, without judging any one for their looks. From that point of view it molded him into a more honest and more beautiful being than we all will ever be, looking at people not for how they look, but for who they truly are.


Vicky Matthews and Steve Carruthers

The article about Steve and Vicky says they are receiving hate-mails and remarks on their Facebook profiles where Steve is branded as a ‘monster’ and Vicky is being scolded at for being dumb wanting to marry a monster. I just cannot believe people really do this, this can’t be true! Why??? Do Steve and Vicky hurt people by being in love with each other? Do they deprive others from something by marrying? Are his looks so disturbing people can’t even leave them be? Why are people so mad and envious at each other that they forget to keep in touch with their mental roots in life, and which are all made from love?

Unfortunately these abominable things happening with Steve and Vicky are ‘just’ symptoms from the general illness our society is suffering from. That illness is fueled by religion, politicians, and by commercial practises to make us believe we should go in the direction they stipulated for us. If you want to belong, you should believe this, you should think this way, you should dress this way, you should behave like this. If not, you are an outcast and are exposing yourself to the wrath of the flock of sheep turning into little monsters, who will do everything in their power to bash and hurt you, even if you are different in a way you can’t change.

Best friends - Elke & Britt

Best friends – Elke & Britt ©yannbastiaans

When will this world differentiate between people just by the criterium of ‘love’? When will love be the unique instrument used to judge others and to lead our decisions? No more gay-bashing, no more racism, no more exclusion of different-looking people. Just love and admiration for those who are different, or dare to be different. For they are the strong ones, the true ones, and often the loving ones.

Love, yann ❤️